Of coal towns and online surveys
Sit back, kids, and let me tell you a story.
So my mom signed me up with this online survey company because (the way she heard it) they paid you regularly. Well it turns out you could get paid if you earned enough pretend points upon completing a survey. You see, they give you credits for each survey you take. And you could submit those credits towards a sweepstakes for a chance to win real money! Or, you know, if you have real sense, you select the cash payout option. Oh, but guess what? I forgot to tell you, they don’t say how many credits you need to earn to cash out. 100,000 credits? Not enough. Why don’t you submit it to the sweepstakes for the chance to win real money!
You expect me to take a possibility of cash money and throw it in some pot where allegedly somebody might win? In effect you just want me to fill out surveys under the illusion that I could possibly win a sweepstakes if I keep playing.
The amusing part of this is they wouldn’t start writing checks for you until it reached at least $10. And when we did finally see one of these checks our bank acted like we brought monopoly money in and made us wait a ridiculous amount of time while they checked to make sure the company was good for it. For ten dollars. You know, we both had accounts in that bank. If we’re trying to scam you out of money I’d assume we’d do it for more than ten dollars at a time.
If you’ve ever heard the song Sixteen Tons you’re probably familiar with the history of coal mining. How companies would pay in scrip rather than real money, of how you could only use this on goods in the company store, and how the company usually owned the house you lived in, too. If the internet is the wild west, this was coal mining territory.
Not only were their paying practices shady but just the way they treated survey takers in general. They’d go a long time without any contact and then all at once bombard you with surveys. And if you didn’t respond to them when they wanted you to they dropped you from the program. The surveys themselves only sought their own predetermined answers. “Have you read any of these magazines?” I think I’ve looked at these two once… “Of the two you’ve selected, did you feel this way, this way, or this way?” Any time you ticked something it would add another page or two of questions. So I imagine most people would just click “none” to avoid all the extended hassle. And that’s what you want from your surveys, right?
Surveys that promise to enter you into a sweepstakes are insulting. You’ll notice restaurants and stuff offering them now. Go to the site on your receipt and enter for a chance to win $1000! Yeah, no, no thanks. The best one yet is this one restaurant I go to, you fill out the survey for a chance to win $1000 or an ipod. Instantly they’ll send you a “We’re sorry, you didn’t win the ipod - but you still have a chance at winning $1000!” email. Imagine entering several of those and getting that annoying email over and over. At least let me pretend I might have won something, jeez.
My favorite example of this is job postings that expect you to submit work on spec in the hopes of landing the gig. Wow, really? You can’t just hire me for the services I provide. You have to turn it into some contest where I could possibly win your payment for the work you’re having me do for you? Holy cats.
